Publicity Starved Santa Threatens Facebook

Santa has Facebook on the naughty list.

Oh, he’s not the real Santa. He’s the publicity hungry Santa who since June has legally changed his name to Santa Claus and has used his position as a monk to draw attention to himself and his many schemes of using the image of Santa to make a buck.

Using his new legal name of Santa Claus (he is from California, of course), he signed up on Facebook and quickly grew in popularity. After all, who wouldn’t want to be a friend of a dude in white beard named Santa?

In the month or so since he joined the popular social network, he’s approved 5,000 friends. He could have easily gone viral by Thanksgiving — when everyone wants to be “friends” with Santa regardless of whether they deserve to be. He could become the most popular person in the world on Facebook.

But unfortunately for Santa, 5,000 friends is all anyone gets on Facebook. To add anyone new, the man who says his real legal name is Santa Claus must remove someone on his list.

That upsets the man who runs the Santa Claus Foundation, which he describes as an advocacy group for children.

“It’s hard for me to believe that Facebook would want to disappoint that many folks who might enjoy being Santa’s friends,” Claus said in an e-mail. “I’m not selling anything; so, I don’t understand the problem.” [Perhaps Santa has forgotten about his "diet plan" he's hawking online on one of his many websites]

He wants Facebook to make an exception for him and he’s not above thinking about rough tactics, noting a report that Facebook lost users in the United Kingdom earlier this year.

“[I] can only imagine what could happen, should word will get around that it is now severely limiting the number of friends Santa Claus can have,” Claus said. “Would this make Facebook the new Scrooge or Grinch?” [Not only is this Santa incredibly shameless in his exploitation of a saint he is also a thug. The real Santa never threatens anyone]

Those are harsh words given that Santa already got personal help from Facebook, since the site blocks people from registering names like Darth Vader or the Easter Bunny. But Santa was able to prove he was legally Santa Claus and a tech overrode the ban, making Santa Claus the Santa Claus on Facebook.

Facebook says the 5,000 friend limit applies to all users.

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